Namkia was strangely silent on the way down. On our last night in the hills, in the camp at Asalu, he drifted to and fro, hanging about - wishing, it seemed, to say something, and yet not able to nerve himself to the point. A little after dark, when the lamp was lit and I was sitting writing, he came abruptly in. Before I could move, he dropped on his knees in front of me. His arms went round me, his head went down on my lap, and suddenly, bitterly, he began to cry.
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This was so completely unlike Namkia, so shocking a collapse, that for a few seconds I did nothing.
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" Namkia, Namkia ! Whatever is the matter ? "
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I shook him and tried to raise him. He didn't move. I tried to quiet him. He went on weeping. I pulled myself free and stood up, and his head and arms fell on the empty chair, where he went on crying. There was some rum in the stores. I hunted for it and found it, gave him a stiff tot, and (167) bullied him into taking it medicine fashion. In a little while it worked. His sobs grew less, and he sat up gulping, regaining his self-control.
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" Well, what's the trouble ? " I said, after a little.
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He got up and perched himself on the edge of the bamboo table, always his favourite seat.
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" It was all right before I left Laisong. I didn't mind a bit and I wasn't afraid to go. But now my wife and mother have been at me, and I don't know what to do. Suppose Assam is invaded, and abandoned without a fight, as they say it's going to be ? " He looked across at me. " Suppose we can't come back ? Suppose raiding breaks out again in the hills when the British go ? Who'll look after my wife and children ? I was in the village today, and heard what they're saying. They say this isn't our war, and we ought to leave it alone - we aren't Japs, we aren't British; we're Zemi. What's it to do with us ? " There was dire trouble in his face. " We've been together now, you and I and the others, for two years now; we are like a family. How can I leave you ? - -What about my children ? Oh, my sister, my sister, I'm being pulled in two ! Which way shall I go ? "
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I sat down at the table.
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" Well," I said. " I don't know what's going to happen, either. But my home's here in Laisong, and I'm coming back to it whatever happens. After all, Lumding isn't far; we can walk home in four days. As for the rest, I don't think you Zemi will be able to stay as neutral as you think - certainly not if the Angamis and Kukis take sides; and I doubt if you'd find the Japs a fair exchange for the British. From what I hear, they're rather more like the old Kachari Kings you talk about, who made men lick knives, and flayed the soles off their feet and made them walk along thorny logs."
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" That's likely," said Namkia.
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" Meantime, there are all these people coming through from Burma, in the devil of a state. I've been told to go down and help; and I'm going, with anyone I can find to go along (168) with me. If you people won't come, it's my bad luck - I've had the orders, not you."
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Namkia got off his perch and wiped his eyes.
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" 'Asipui-ghao,"' he said. " Dear elder sister - don't be afraid, we're all in it together."
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We shook hands on it, and he went off to the lines. Three days later, in vile discomfort, by fits and starts, half our kit adrift on a line already disrupted and chaotic, we landed up on a hot, dark night at Lumding.
