June: 16: God was in many outward mercies exceeding good to me and mine, my dear wife somewhat faint and weakly but cheerful, god helps us under our great losses I am sometimes ready to be overwhelmed in remembrance of my dear Mary , but when I eye my god, and think on his wisdom in all providences my heart is cheered, and in her gain I rejoice, and indeed I would not have it otherwise, because its my fathers will that it should be so, only the lord cleanse me from my dross thoroughly, and do me good which I trust he will, my heart sees more into him, he is sweeter to me. and my converse is more with him than formerly, my lusts and temptations are not so violent, god in mercy not only chain Satan, and restrain my corruptions but subdue them also, my debts are great and they are too much in my mind, yet not with much disquietment, the lord free me from the caring after or about the things of this world, so that I may use it, as if I used it not, god strengthened me for my weekly work in schooling, and I hope will carry me on in the same with moderation of spirit, and ease me of care and trouble for my subsistence thereby, god was good to me in the duties of the Sabbath in strength for it, in my affairs and occasions the week past(,) he sweetened his word to me, and does brace up my heart to eye, and rely on him