March: 17. This week the lord appeared, merciful in the visiting my daughter Jane , with strange fits as of the colic, and giving her speedy ease, as also in Mr will Harlakendens : in supporting my wife under all the trouble of her son , and in giving me hopes of his sight and recovery, my maid also is somewhat better, god gives me a heart to pray for them, and through mercy he hears me,: we had divers expressions of love from Mrs Wm Harlakenden this week, I received 6li. of my com(mitte)e money from Chelmsford, and a bottle of sack from London, from Mr Linch , god using me as an instrument to help them in their poor sister Goodwife Markham , thus gods provisions are towards me, but my heart is unworthy in his sight, and divers abominable vanities annoy, I sigh and look up to thee, when will my god subdue them I desire to live on god for all spiritual and outward good, and observe him in all his ways towards me, and mine towards him, I bless god for divers smitings of heart, in the first buddings of temptations: I desire to familiar my change to me, and wait for it, and to be dying by pieces and not all at once and see death as my enemy (for Jesus calls it his) in keeping me from christs immediate presence, rather than its parting me from outward friends, god was good and merciful to me, in the work and duty of the Sabbath, wherein I desire his blessing may be upon me continually.