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Diary of Ralph Josselin (Private Collection)

26.3.1658 (Friday 26 March 1658)

document 70010925

26: When I came to review my estate. this year I find the school going from me by Dr Wrights death, whereof I am not so much sad to part with it, as thankful god let me enjoy it so long; yet I beg pardon from god that I attended no better to it while I had it, nor my ministry, which might be grievous to my god, I am resolved through grace to attend my studies and preaching more than ever, lord let me be blessed therein. god has given me a daughter the lord enter into Covenant with her, my mind here of late more distraught with worldly fond musings than some years formerly, lord my help is in the assistance of thy grace and spirit through christ, help, help, and quicken my endeavours and watch for my hope is set in thee and my expectation is from thee, my soul lives by faith on god my righteousness and strength, assailed with fears but not shaken, faith in christ being thereof my victory, god gives witness to the truth and integrity of my heart with him,

For my outward estate. I am out on Mrs Maries land: 114li. at least

Lands as last year only I have paid for the land on the Green fine, and all charges it amounted in whole unto 309.7.4.

I have paid all my debts, and owe not 5s. anywhere that I know of, for which particular monies are not assigned, and laid by, my stock is about. 600 that I desire to preserve as an estate for my children which is more than I had in all last year. - I have gathered 36li towards Tom's apprenticeship, and assigned the arrears of my augmentation due Sept. 29. past, all rents, and monies due on bond until this time which I hope will make that sum up an 100(.) this year was deep in expenses costing me about 110li. and yet I bless god I received in above an 100li. more unto my estate, this is gods blessing alone his good will with what I have is better than lands and treasure: god has added a child to my number I intend henceforward to bring into one receipt all my arrears of tithe, quarters augmentation, and what arises from my ministerial employment towards my housekeeping, which if it effect and add but 10li. yearly to my estate I shall have no thoughts of anything but blessing god in reference to my estate. however I shall endeavour to be thankful and contended.

what arises out of my own private estate the tenth deducted as formerly I desire to lay by entire for the good of my family. I have about 3li. in cash for my expense, and good round sums in arrears. I commit my ways unto thee, I pray thee smile upon me. For thy christ my Jesus sake.